My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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