I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
