I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
