if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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