would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
