it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
