Nicole vs. Life
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
