Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
