So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
