my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
