She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
