I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
