do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
