I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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