8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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