They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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