I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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