remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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