pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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