so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
