the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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