pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
