So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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