hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
