and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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