her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
