I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I am mentally ready for anal.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
