he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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