That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize