you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
