mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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