Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
