He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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