Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
