You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
