u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
