You're my little dorito
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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