I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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