I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Welp...herpes.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize