it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
