she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
