I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So many bounce houses so little time
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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