Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
this will be a night to untag.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
