his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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