im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
