he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
