...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
