Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I fill condoms, not promises.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
