Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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