Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
