I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
