he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
