worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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