I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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