No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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