i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
