this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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